Ok. Listen up you greedy assholes. I know only like 5 people read this Nascar gambling blog, but all y’all owe me for this one. You bastards are currently reading a blog written by an absolute dumpster fire of a drunk man. Like for real. If it wasn’t for auto correct I’d be an embarrassment to all Central Illinois people. Well, more embarrassing than we already are. Good news is I made my picks pre drinking. Long story short, my birthday was last week…no big deal…..thanks for the “happy birthday” wishes you ungrateful asses. But I went and raced tonight at the local dirt track…..Let’s get further into way I’m hammered at 11:45 pm central time after racing at 9 pm.
There was a “Special” race tonight. Which for you dummies from the East coast, is a race with a ton more prize money than normal. Usually reserved for races dedicated to people or good causes. Well let’s do some role play. Let’s say I was in a heat race with 7 other extremely fast guys from all over the country. Let’s just say I was top 3 until some buck tooth blind fella decided to run into my car going into a corner like he was in some demolition derby (something my redneck ass also does). I took exception to this occasion and became what some uptight people would call “mad.” Weird…..I know. Well now that I am at the end of this surprisingly short story I can say the “role play” thing was dumb. But screw it. On with the story we go.
I got politely asked to leave the track with my now very messed up car, crew, and equipment. I quickly pivoted and made my shop into a make shift bar (because I’m quick on my feet and adapt to situations very fast, obviously).
Now that we are at my make shift tavern if you will, I decide to invite other people over. That was a bad decision. A make shift drinkin’ sesh as the kids call it, became a full on “bet ya can’t finish this bottle off” sesh…. needless to say I won……only on the requisite that I’m still awake and able to read English.
I’m nearly positive that more people came to my make shift birthday party than was at the races after I left…..No big deal…..also, low-key there are still like 40ish people out in my shop, which can only mean one thing……well one of two things. 1. I’m awesome and have Great friends, or 2. People love free alcohol, which I have a ton of. I pick option 1 but you be your own judge.
On to Business
Let’s get to this damn Nascar race…..I’ve legitimately been the hottest Nascar gambler on this planet and would happily bet hundreds, or thousands against anyone that I bet my picks do better than theirs…. Don’t believe me? Oh, look back at my previous blogs baby. Anyone that wants to step to my redneck, midwest ass in Nascar is welcome. I’ll take all comers. Mention the name and I’ll issue a challenge. I’m that confident.
Today we have the All-Star Race at Texas Motor Speedway. Texas is a fast track with 20-24 degrees of banking in every turn. For dummies, that means people will carry their speed really well through turns.
Nascar is different than any other All-Star event in sports. The prize money is still their for the event. This isn’t about showing talent in flashes, or looking good in the pregame. This race is going to be full of cold blooded killers ready to cut a throat of a teammate if that’s what is needed to win. Anyone that follows my picks will understand that one driver is automatically on my list, but the other 3 picks I have might shock some people.
Texas is a track that almost everyone in Nascar is familiar with to an extent. There is always an edge to people with experience but this isn’t exactly a new track. This will come down to set up and game plan(along with pit crew performance). I have 3 really good drivers pegged for a win, and also 1 guy who I absolutely love to at minimum be in the mix for a win or top 5 at amazing odds. Let’s get to it.
Kyle Larson (Any Odds)
I know “any odds” isn’t something you commonly see but for Larson it’s true. I’ve been beating this dudes drum for years. He is by far the most talented driver in the circuit. He has just as good equipment as anyone. And he had a great team behind him. Wonder by I love him? Oh just look where he finished the last 5 races? Oh the last two he won? That’s awkward. I wish someone had bet him to win….oh wait I did. No big deal. This dude should be a top favorite to win at any non road course the rest of the year. If you find him at plus money anywhere, take it…..Oh and did I mention he gets the pole?
Martin Truex Jr (+750)
A driver who consistently runs some of the fastest laps, starting 10th, at great odds? I’ll take him. To be fair I expect these odds to greatly change for every racer before start time, but as of now this is a must bet. Martin is a guy who is often over looked, but is never out done. He quietly puts solid preformance up after solid preformance. Don’t believe me? Look up fastest laps at every race and I promise you won’t look too far for his name. Texas is going to feed right into Martin and all his top end speed.
Kyle Busch (+350)
Every time I talk about this dude I mention how much I hate him. And it’s true, he’s the worst. But it’s undeniable how fast he his. There has been multiple tracks where he had bad luck and should have been in the conversation for a win but just missed opportunities due to various issues. Starting second with a short field behind him, being on of the fastest, and most winningest drivers ever, and being extremely familiar with this track makes me LOVE Kyle here. Look for him to lose ground early then come in extremely strong late.
Alex Bowman (+2400)
I have no legitimately stunning reason to love Alex here, but I do. He is starting towards the end of this already short field, which means passing will likely be at a premium, but I don’t hate that here. Anyone who has watched Alex this year would agree he really comes alive on long stretches, which should certainly be there tomorrow. He is every bit as talented as the next guy, has a Hendricks Motorsports car, a great crew chief and crew, so why not?
At these odds it’s all about value. The Hendricks team will have their shit together, and Alex will have a setup that should allow him to be competitive. Maybe I’m expecting too much from him, but I truly think he will show out here. Take any Top 10/5 bet you can find at above +400 odds. Value is there. Even if he doesn’t cash, the bet is definitely plus value.
There are my Nascar picks. Fade at your own risk. All I ask is for you 5 loyal bastards still reading to follow me on Twitter. I don’t feel like that’s too much to ask. Aside from that, good luck everyone, and don’t forget to tell me how great I am when one of my picks once again wins.