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Daniel Jones and Sam Darnold. Wuff.

New York is the new Florida of the NFL

New York is the new Florida of the NFL. Florida, with its assortment of Jaguars and Buccaneers and Dolphins, has long been the dumpster of professional football. All three of those franchises have largely been shit-shows since the Bush administration, save for a few magical seasons here and there. Not anymore, though.

Florida is looking up. New York is Middle Earth. Florida has a lively football future. The Empire State is where football careers go to die. Like I said, you can now redirect all your Bucs/Jags/Phins jokes at the Giants and Jets, who have combined for a 0-10 record this season (can’t do it for the mighty Bills, but I’m mostly talking about NYC teams). ‘Cause boy, are they bad. Certified Florida of the NFL.

New York Giants

What to say about Big Blue. The New York Football Giants will need Daniel Jones to play better football down the stretch. This season is lost; they’re not doing anything at 0-5 and their best player (Saquon Barkley) already out for 2020. Danny Dimes had quite a promising rookie season, but has looked completely outmatched this season. He is their quarterback, for better or worse. The rest of this season should be dedicated to getting him right.

As for their coaching situation, Joe Judge has a little bit more leeway than other 0-5 coaches. This is his first year at the helm, so it shouldn’t fall entirely on him that his team sucks so profoundly. He seems to be a big culture guy, in the ilk of Tom Coughlin. Judge’s success in New York might hinge on his ability to instill that winning mentality. So far though, an inauspicious start.

New York Jets

The J-E-T-S are really B-A-D. Sam Darnold had a decent rookie performance in 2018, was pretty much the same QB in 2019, and has taken several large steps backward through five terrible 2020 games. Is he too far gone? Probably not. But things have to start changing; the man has a QB rating in the 70s through 31 starts. Maybe it would help to have a head coach that could unlock his potential?

Some people swear by Adam Gase. The man has been called an offensive genius. Multiple times. A genius! I don’t really get it. Maybe his offensive acumen is just too damn brilliant for most players to grasp, leading to the putrid results his teams have had over the past few years. Gase used to be one of the engineers of Florida’s football ineptitude. The Dolphins canned him, though, so he’s the Jets’ problem now. Who knows how much slack he has left, but it can’t be much.

Robert Deutsch-USA TODAY Sports

Rejoice, Florida!

The Buccaneers are 3-2 and have a stable full of weapons on offense and defense. The Dolphins are 2-3, but just smoked the 49ers on the road, as Tua waits in the wings. The Jaguars, well, they still suck at 1-4. But they do seem to have a real answer at QB in Gardner Minshew II.

Overall, pro football in Florida is no longer a laughing stock. New York is the new Florida of the NFL. Hell, they’ll just be the New York of the NFL pretty soon.

So take that L. Take all of those Ls, New York. Us Floridian NFL fans are not to be trifled with!

For now at least.